the pool opens at 11. by 1115 the ambulance had been called.
Skinny jeans should not be made in size 14. Then, it's just a lie.
Best. Handjob. Ever.
I'm guessing Kelly is over?
Nope. Home alone.
Just saw a cop give four blondes gas for their car on their way to Vegas. They seriously ran out of gas and called 911 about it. Its like a porno plot.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
lit a joint with my parents wedding matches today, this is what happens when you're out of lighter fluid. didnt even feel guilty.
Props to the guy on crutches playing edward forty hands. Dedicated to drinking games is an understatement.
Somehow ended up home, probably had something to do with the makeshift ladder from my second story window. Now headed to church, still drunk, and still fighting back the vomit of a thousand different alcohols. Successful night.
Nothing says love like couples STD testing
Nothing says breakup like the results
Some girl came up to us crying that she lost her phone and you said "if it's meant to be, let it be"
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
where will you be at 9:30 tonight?
piledriving you in your roommate's bed?
NO I WILL NOT SET YOU UP WITH MY TWIN WHAT THE HELL IS WRONG WITH YOU?!? JUST BECAUSE I WONT BLOW YOU DOESNT MEAN YOU CAN STALK HER AS A BACKUP PLAN YOU SPANISH BASTARD
he told me he liked me . I thought we were just fuck buddies . This ruins everything!
I told him I might be pregnant and he said he'd buy me a test and a twix bar. I'm marrying him. Tomorrow.
Granted, I did not plan to spend ANY hour of the last day of 2020 sober.
it is time to test the effects of half a loaf of bread and overconfidence on the human body
Randomize