I told her we could go facebook official. If she ups the oral.
Just because we had intercourse doesn't mean we're friends.
I just found 3 condoms in my math textbook... in the probability section... Under dependent and independent events...
this isnt the person you just texted but i have her phone. she disappeared when the bacon came home and she hasn't returned since.
Stage 55 clinger. not a typo. I cannot even believe this shit.
Dude. He drives a mini. Therefore he's a virgin
Did you not learn anything for "HERPES SCARE 2010".........
I don't know which part of you thought this was funny but it's fucked up to wake up in that much fluff and now we don't have a couch. Fuck you.
All three of them were helicoptering their dicks to persuade me to take my thong off
Shouldn't have fucked on the top bunk, I bounced so high my hair got caught in the ceiling fan and almost broke my neck.
Having a heartfelt conversation with your boyfriends mom while sexting her son. If that's not multitasking, I don't know what is.
But I'm currently thinking of all my bad decision making last night and giving myself a time out.
As we were leaving a memorial service last night he turns to me and says, is it too soon for a post funeral blowie?
I'm trying to cause a divorce, your hooking up with a felon, I think we need Jesus.
You know you're high when you find yourself sitting on the floor with the refrigerator door open, talking to various foods. Hand gestures and all.
Randomize
