i said send nudes i get bra and panties. thats not what i fucking asked for.
From now on, just let me go home. I'm tired of hooking up with your roommates... Including you.
Just wana tell you im wearing assless jorts tonight. Ive been waiting my whole life for this.
I knew it was time to leave Waffle House when you started singing "What's Your Fantasy" to your hash browns.
My suggestion that we all just smoke some weed was greeted with a uncomfrotable silence and a 'maybe later'. These are not our people
im afraid if i stop breathing i will turn into a porcupine
she smells like cat throw up and cupcakes. i'm trying to focus on the cupcakes but it's really. hard.
Well... this vagina won't eat itself
I just puked in my non fat yogurt... But it's non fat in hopes that someone wants to eat my vagina
Come on Nikki god gave you a vagina for a reason, so you could tell guys what kind of shots to buy you
I may or may not have just ruined a marriage. But in my defense I got all my drinks for free tonight.
I feel as though sleeping all day due to the effects of prescription painkillers paid for by union insurance made this the most American day ever for me
It sounded like he said "don't stop" but all I could hear were his balls.
Sexting across continents is really a perfect example of how far technology has come.
You having your own car has severely reduced the amount of blowjobs I get.
There's literally not a single picture of him with a shirt on. I can't talk to him without dislocating my eye balls.
Randomize
