I think my mom's writing a book called how to fuck with your kids when you know they're high
I learned nothing from that class except drinking and chemistry go together great.
She was blacklisted from the Uhaul center...what the fuck do you have to do to get blacklisted from a Uhaul center
He poured the shots. We did them together. I cheersd him out of the shower
How would one go about tricking someone into chugging an entire bottle of tequila?
all i remember is him tryin to explain to the girls how to effectively hit the strip club with their bfs
hes actually pretty persuasive when he drinks
The bouncer was being really rude for no reason. Steph PICKED him up and physically MOVED him from our path on the way out.
Well thats the pro of going out drinking with a pro body builder. Even if its a girl.
Why do i feel like Captain Hook just gave me a pap smear?
I found his Linkedin the day after he created it. Too stalkerish or just right?
I kept on yelling at him to get his shit together as he was puking
You tried paying your tab with the coaster
MY LIFE IS A TRAINWRECK THATS ON FIRE BUT SOMEHOW STILL MOVING, I HAVE THE RIGHT TO SCREAM OUTSIDE AT 2AM
We walking to the game and some random guy came up to to me and yelled "hey you're the whiskey guy!" And then high fived me then walked away
WTF ARE YOU DOING IT'S FUCKING VEGAN COFFEE IT'S MADE WITH NUT MILK YOU'RE NOT A FUCKING SQUIRREL.
You turned down sex for fried cheese??
My penis and doctor won't be happy with me, but come on. Fried cheese!
Randomize
