My mind said no, but my drink said yes.
I'm going to an arts college, I live next to the frat houses, and my room number is 420. god has plans for me and I couldn't be happier.
I woke up to her staring at me in a corner moaning over and over again about how good the pie crust tasted
I'm sorry for throwing the cheese everywhere, but it wasn't my fault. No one was enforcing disipline so not really my fault for not behaving
he's wearing our apron and eating a pb and oreo sandwich. and calling the oreos "topless" since he took their tops off...
In my dream, you became a famous tap-dancer. Congratulations.
went to their party, left halfway through to fuck a pledge, came back to keep drinking. I think everyone won.
He stumbled in drunk at 7am, while we were getting ready for work. He poured a bowl of Cap'n Crunch, poured Jack Daniels on it., and said he was having "Captain Jack" for breakfast. I don't know how he's alive and employed. I hope the Cap'n calls in sick for him today.
Yeah I don't remember how I got home last night
Judging from my pants, I embarrassed myself smh
but seriously, an anthropology paper shouldn't be hard if you're trashed, right?
also I can check "jump into a moving car" off my bucket list if that tells you how tonight is going
I just need some of your time and all of your body.
we panicked because we couldn't find you anywhere, but then we found you tripping in the bathtub with Marie's cat. there was no water. you thought there was water, though.
Getting a UTI was SO NOT on my wishlist for the holidays
I JUST HAD TO SNORT THE REST OF MY BAG OF COKE BECAUSE THE BAG RIPPED IN THE WORK BATHROOM.
I'm guessing you feel amazing due to all the caps?
LETS GET THIS SHIT DONE. IM GONNA GET THIS SHIT DONE, FOREVER.
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