Jennifer and I just ate like 4 jello shots w/ a guy dressed as inspector gadget. We are still in the capital building btw
I love Texas.
You know how my eyes change color? Well I noticed after I hook up with someone my eyes are greener.
Wow, so you're like the Edward Cullen of sluts.
Still workable. Pretty sure i told her i'd eat her out in the woods.
why do cheetos always look like penises
Nick just found a baggie of 3 year old shrooms in his desk drawer and downed it all with cheap white wine. I am not on vomit duty tonight.
i'm using my hot pot to make jello shots in a muffin tin. i'm never ever graduating.
it's 8 a.m. and there are people having sex at the foot of the strangers bed i'm in. the guy just asked the girl how she lost her baby weight so fast.
dude i woke up sitting indian style with my face on the ground and my hand in a bucket of ice.
You call it a hangover, I call it a baby squirrel burrowing its way out of my head.
I ran into the bouncer who kicked me out of that beach bar a few months ago. I told him I'd only been thrown out of two other places since then. He was proud.
Tomorrow may or may not be a problem cause i'll be wonder woman for a halloween party aka i'll be fucked up & try & jump off of shit thinking i can fly
Did I run into a tree or get punched in the face?
Both.
Because of my cut offs, my brother is convinced I fucked a girl so hard she forgot to take her pants. Fairly accurate.
Are we going to go home and do it or do I have time to eat my nachos bell grande first?
I'm SO high. And there is so much pudding in this car
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