we went to a bar last night, drank beer in plastic cups. I took pics w/a random kid i pulled into a photobooth & i have easy mac in my purse. I belong here.
Halloween 2010: the NuvaRing girls. You're Thursday. We'll walk into the party chanting "Monday, Tuesday, Wednesday, Thursday, Friday, Saturday, Sunday, Everydaaay".
not only did i manage to get kicked out of the bar, i also got kicked out of denny's. i didnt even know that was possible.
Its not really a relationship, its more of a sex for booze program.
Bachelor party turned 19 hour search and rescue in the mountains. nbd
At one point, you closed your eyes and asked me which 'six flags' we were at
I don't know which part of you thought this was funny but it's fucked up to wake up in that much fluff and now we don't have a couch. Fuck you.
You kept me hostage in your driveway until you got your point across that alaska has warm weather
It would have been the trifecta of dick for her.
So i am officially handcuffed to the pole on the party bus while taking jello shots.....this shall be an interesting night
For the past year I have been the most responsible I have ever been in my entire life and now spring break is here and there is free penis just traipsing around my entire town. The game is afoot.
my vagina is starting to think like a penis, and I'm not even slightly worried
I had a meltdown and you quoted Puddle of Mudd to me
Left Las Vegas at 2:30 am, woke up at 11 AM at a Barstow gas station with the Valet from Ceaser' palace snoring in the backseat and no memory of how we got there. I felt like Raoul Fucjing Duke right then and there.
So help me God.... if he sends me a dick pic.... I will make it so he has to eat food through a tube in his nose and poop into a bag by his belly button
Randomize
