We did like every position then did it again this morning. Something about him being the little boy i used to make sand castles with just made it way hotter.
well done
i really wish my pants would only unzip when im sober
where are you?
sonic
Good. I hungoveredly cleaned your room. This is what being married is going to be like. I pick the condoms up off the floor and you bring home the hot dogs.
Why are you covered in frosting?
Friend's birthday situation turned into enlightened cake orgy.
Youre at medical school. Im eating raw cookie dough, pickles, and orange juice. Naked. On a monday afternoon. I clearly make better life choices than you.
At the end of the night you handed the bartender a piece of paper with the word "VISA" written on it.
Playing basket ball at the park with random people that showed up at 1am. the division of teams is based on what drugs people are on
I rode a bull tonight, There is absolutely no reason my dick is not in some chicks mouth
You might call them booze related cuts, I call it "partying so hard you sweat blood"
I've never seen an uncircumcised penis. I mean in person. I've clearly seen an uncircumcised penis. I have the google.
You are the ghost of drunk bitches past, present, and future.
It's your birthday, you should get to jizz where you want to. Jizz when you want tooo
We are best friends because we can vomit simultaneously in the same toilet and not care
I’m really regretting these suede pants.
3 hour lecture of my biology teacher talking about isotopes and space shuttles. I'm way too high for this.
Randomize
