I made him hve sex with me in the elevator so that I could put my finger down in never have I ever.
You slow danced with your carpet steamer last night.
It's like you are the superhero of getting jizzed on
We're knee deep in HJ's right now.
i stole nothing, broke nothing, and stabbed nothing. aren't you proud of me?
Just had a threesome. Girlfriend wasn't a part of it. Broke up with her by sending her a picture of it. Hell is going to be awesome
A guy with a mustache poured a beer down your throat while you had a crippled boy named Sunshine riding your back
hell or highwater he WILL get a blowjob in the hammock before the end of summer.
I'm literally 40 minutes from where I was supposed to stay. I woke up in a parking lot.
I don't really want to talk about it, but if anyone finds my unicorn mask with my bra in it, I would really like that back.
And by not handle it I mean it makes me want to sit on his face
I just want him to make us coffee. And whack off into the sunset
I feel like any time there's that much rope, lingerie, and horse masks on the ground, it's safe to say it was a great night
Found out that I went to the same elementary school as the guy I'm hooking up with. Kosher or no
got laid for being an eagle scout again. 4 more and ill have all my merit badges.
Randomize
