i just wish he would text me so i could ignore his text and show him how little i care anymore
I almost took home a boy from the bar last night, till i realized he was not speaking drunk, he was from another country and didnt know english. that could have been an awkward morning.
dollar beers will do that to you.
it was like he was trying to blow his nose in my vagina
she just took adderol and chased it w dog water
They had half off shots during the fourth quarter. I was powerless.
did i mention he attempted to milk her in backseat?
Blacked in riding a tandem bicycle with a stranger. We stopped for hot dogs.
She interrupted us having sex in the tent by threatening to kill us if we "got cum on the lasanga."
Two words that describe last night: naked and backflips.
No it's ok I've been talking to the girl at the Chinese restaurant about your dick for the last 20 minutes. I haven't mentioned your name but she thinks she knows you.
don't do it for the experience, do it for the story. now get your ass in that bedroom
Is it bad i hate my job so much I'm actively trying to get fired tonight by drinking all the booze we have so I don't have to show up for my double tomorrow. Four mango vodkas later I have decided I'm a better server drunk.
It bothers me when I see my old fuck buddies starting families on Facebook.
So if I run into you on the street, I'm supposed to just stop drop and suck your dick?
All I know is when I asked you how many fingers I was holding up, you said "Hippo"
Randomize
