You stuck the head of a rubber chicken you found in her house up your ass and then started running around her living room. Naked.
went out last night and woke up on the bathroom floor again, thinking about just moving my bed in there.
Then you jumped off your bed with your arms outstretched, yelled "I'm Goliath, watch out New York!" and then began singing the Gargoyles theme song as you 'soared' around your room.
Don't be ridiculous, the Gargoyles theme song has no words. How could I sing that mess?
You just started going "da da da da da! da da da da da! DA DA!!" then going "swoosh" as you glided about.
can we take a shower together?
no need for the romantic shit. I'm a sure thing
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Barack Obama mentioned plan B and suddenly this address seems a lot more personal
130 PACKAGES of glow sticks! The going rate of a rave is $38.30! GET READY FOR THE GLORGY!!!!!!!!!!!!
Seriously I just dipped a banana in vodka I really need to stop drinking
I feel like I have to sign a death waver before I have sex with him...
Bone him for me, BONE HIM TWICE FOR ME.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I woke up naked under desk at her apt once during my freshman year. I should have known that friendship was of a different breed...
How does one get out of sexting without being rude? I'm trying to watch Downtown Abbey
cmon you know I'm perfectly capable of something that ridiculous 100% sober
In other news, I tore a tendon in my hand from giving my boyfriend handjobs so that's how my day is going
That's why my boobs are so big, they're full of secrets.
All I remember is being in the middle of the road puking and my bestfriend cheering me on from the passenger seat...
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