he just spelled fiance, "pheancie". I dont think he's ready to get married.
i have a surprise for you that looks bigger since I found my body hair trimmer
What's the most polite way to ask if you puked in my vase?
Just wanted to remind you that you literally cut the underwear off a man.
RA just said I set the all time record for a student who lost houseing..30min..I was moveing out while my new roomate was moveing in. know of any off campous places to stay??
Delete that photo of me. My ass looks WAY to good it in to be on Facebook for everyone to see. You gotta earn that shit.
I wasn't a groupie because I didn't carry his guitar home
Please put me on a plane and hypontize me into forgetting the little bit of last night that I do remember.
you literally stared at me for three minutes and then said "hey this tequila isn't gonna drink itself, boss"
This snow needs to melt so I can get wasted on someones front lawn
Make sure you plan your visit for October. That's ACL festival, it's like every Bro in the country converges on Austin. My vagina wants to go hunting.
My orifices are off limits as long as you have that stache. Your call.
just reached the point where my breast implants paid from themselves in free drinks.
Medicine hack, old crowe and ramen flavor packets isnt a cure for the cold.
Just woke up with only a scarf and my uggs on. i hate partying naked in winter.
Randomize
