they're making a venn diagram comparing gummi bears against gummi worms...is this what i have to sit thru to get free weed????
You are missing out on the best boobs in town right now
Dude their dog does tricks for sips of beer. He keeps going up next to people and trying to shake. This is awesome.
We realized he wasn't with us anymore, so we turn around and he's 20 feet back, peeing on a squirrel.
No no no...you park the car, stick your tongue down his throat, slip your number in his pocket, invite him to insomnia, and THEN LEAVE. You go from awkward to epic in a matter of seconds.
Im rolling face in a pizzeria. I want to be with people who love me.
I immediately retract my statement involving hylecopters being allowed to blow up sharks out of the water.... The idea if it is super incredible but ultimately it would be cruel and unessesary
Yeah if I don't text back. I'm eating. sleeping. Or lifting. Or drinking. Or playing call of duty. Like shit man
She just left someone a voicemail saying 'you better not have plans Saturday night, cause I'm going to sit on your face.'
So that prostitue I banged at Steve's bachelor party just texted and invited me to a BBQ at her parents. Never again doubt the power of the cock piercing.
I gave you keys to my house and drugs. This must mean we're in a relationship.
What do you mean? Just eat his food and have sex with him. Unless you want a relationship, then just eat his food.
I know he works a lot but c'mon man. I 69'd you the first week we boned. Put a little effort in. Fuck.
Honestly the prospect of dick really lifts a girl's spirits
My friend Julia's mom just called her to say she got a puzzle in the mail made of cheese and when she put it together it spelled FUCK YOU and she doesn't know who it's from.
Randomize
