rainy day on campus = new personal fetish for girls in booty shorts and colorful rain boots
We have to go find her fucking car. She came home from a 80 dollar cab ride, no shoes, and all she remembers is its at a burger king on a street with an H in it
She goes outside, smokes 2 cigarettes, and insists on walking up the 7 flights of stairs so that her heart stays in shape. this woman is crazy.
How was the bike ride?
Nope. High in the basement. Fruit cups.
No, he grudge fucked my ex so I wouldn't be tempted to get back with her. He is either the worst or best friend ever.
On my list on ridiculous morning after bus rides home, still sopping wet and carrying a giant straw hat is definitely top five
Dude I need help. What word is complimentary, but sounds like "chunky"?
This isn't just a hangover. I can feel the blood moving through my veins, and it hurts.
Way to go. Now you have no beer and I have a cold tit.
When the hubs wants to wear his training mask during sex and pretend to be Bane you just go with it.
He just used the word frick. Is that a possible red flag?
You stopped loving me for a minute.
You sent me "Is nap," I don't think that really counts as a conversation starter.
His ex told me that she wanted me to "take care of" him but from the way she said it I couldn't tell if she wants me to look after him or murder him.
I swear to God...this day is one great big who's who in the land of fucked uppedness.
What happened to your back?
Rug burn. My ass is even worse.
Randomize
