I left the party when things started to get crazy... and when I say crazy I mean: there was puke on the carpet, Evan was passed out behind a plant, Mary was making out with her ex while her present bf was making out with Nancy. Not to mention that someone fisted the wall. Also - someone is sleeping on your lawn - they might be dead, I didn't check. Later.
this dieting is killing me...just started drooling watching a dog food commercial
we got blazed and looked up peoples criminal records
it wasnt like "sexy" or whatever. like...she was smiling just standing there butt ass naked
tasteful.
I just bought 4 bottles of wine in sweats at 530 on a monday night. Fuck law school
She uses my penis to point at the tv when we talk about the shows. I love her
i always knew that i'd have sex in your room, i just assumed it would be with you
In case any of you were wondering, kyle is alive. He also intends to do the same thing tommorow night and the night after.Goodnight everyone
Okay well we need to be adults. We're gonna end up with diabetes or some shit.
our relationship was basically a one night stand, with a three week long, morning after
I WAS KIDDING ABOUT SLUTEMBER BUT ITS ACTUALLY HAPPENING
I think I'm going to call this chapter of my life story "Weekday day-drinking in the park isn't just for the homeless!"
EW HE LOOKS LIKE SOMEONE'S DAD
You ever just SEE a guy and know he's good at choking someone out?
It's 3 am.
He was calculating the number of ceiling tiles when I was on top it was fucking rain man.
Randomize
