it's 4 am, i'm drinkin beer and re-drywalling my bathroom. this could possibly be a bad idea.
I just saw a girl licking a cheeseburger wrapper. dont ever let me get that fat
she just threw a smoke bomb in an elevator and ran down 9 flights of stairs to see it at the bottom.
If I go there, please come with. It will accelerate the lesbian rumor but be totally worth it.
seriously my hangover is so bad I feel like my eye lashes make blinking a workout
Just call Katie. She's like the drunk whisperer; she can get them to do anything.
The basket that the Naughty Easter bunny left for you at my house might keep us entertained for a little while...
Why do you think she gets more guys?
well her prof pic is her in her bedroom looking hot and mine is me looking terrified while holding a giant spider at 6 flags, so there's that
at work, .. 47 yr old boss was in a fight. 2 BLACK EYES. I may get fired. I cant stop laughing
had a dream you helped me fill my shoes with yogurt. we were even like "why didn't we think of this before?!" like it was just so obvious
that sounds like something we'd do... we're onto something here
Seriously bro? Indoor roman candle wars? I guess I'll never see that fucking security deposit again
high moment I think I just reached personal nirvana
I think sunday funday got a little out of control. There is cheese slices and BBQ sauce all over the roof and 4 empty bottles of vodka in my room.
I get so sad when I watch him slowly destroy his life with whiskey and cocaine. Then he bites my neck and I just want to fuck him. I can't help it.
I woke up to him watching me sleep and after I told him it was over he asked if we were still on for Vegas next weekend
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