i just had sex bonerless
Myspace is for pedophiles and tweakers in the 818 trying to hook up. I always forget theres music there too
You got so drunk you kept singing the Sailor Moon theme song and kept making everyone call you Sailor Venus.
I looked up to you, until I saw her walk out of your room.
i made the cop pinkie-promise not to arrest me if i failed the breathalizer.
i just learned how to squirt via google. life is good.
Just made nachos out of string cheese and sunchips and laying in my bed watching babay einstion..get on my level
hung over. covered in somebodies makeup. and ready to drink.
Now back to adults eating hotdogs.
In the middle of our bar crawl last night we stopped to pet dogs at a dog park. who would let a drunk person bet play with their dog???
.It's like gods test of willpower against vaginal comfort
He went down on me for an hour and a half. He needs to get promoted more often.
Also I'd apologize for texting you flipping my shit about the science of hair growth while I was shrooming last night but we know each other better than that
I just chased my birth control with Smirnoff. Shit's about to go down.
His birthday is on cinco de mayo and he doesn’t drink or like tacos. What a waste.
Randomize