Should I have kids to fix a relationship??
No matter how fun it seemed the night before you will always regret taking those pictures, you will always regret eating as much as you did, but you will never regret the great lengths you had to got to get those bruises.
his cum shot went directly into his bellybutton. felt like i was playin ski ball
She called herself a train and then took off all her clothing. I forget everything after that.
I saw you two flinging Jello at the sidewalk if that helps jog your memory.
Beer bonged 7 shots of Jameson. I title this night short stories with tragic endings.
if your not going to answer your phone this is just going to be an embarrassment tomorrow
I just saw someone EAT a flashcard out of frustration. Finals suck.
Two questions: what are you doing RIGHT NOW? and do you know how to drive a golf cart?
So that'd what fifty dollars of chicken at 7/11 looks like. Made it to work on time. Puked twice. BOOM.
With me living this close to Mexico now, Tequila is just a geographical choice at this point if nothing else.
ASS. GYMANSTICS. OLYMPICS. NOW!!!
Pitting the remainder of the bottle against my hangover. I'm expecting an all out cage match for my soul and wellbeing.
I think my ball sweat smells like waffle house. might be time to change up drunken eating habits
I just called my boyfriend "Dad"... Awkward
1. so the new neighbor u called dibs on.. I'm sorry..but not really. 2. She lactates, I guess that happens when you have a kid less then 5 months ago.... WTF!! 3. Is it fucked up I'm craving Ceral & Milk now?
Randomize
