I thought she had more class and brains than to date a complete numb-nut, drug addict, fuck up like him. People never cease to amaze me
so. which one of us is going to pay for the neighbors new window? it cracked when i threw the bottle at it but smashed when you threw yours.
He's playing farmville on his phone while puking over the toilet..
I have just two goals for this NYE. 1) get so drunk that every guy looks like Clive Owen 2) make out with as many Clive's as possible.
I tried to put the left over margartia in a box for you but they wouldn't let me
Apparently I spent my 300 dollar tax return by ordering ramen on amazon last night. Please tell me this will somehow pay off in the long run.
Old lady caught me peeing in the street and yelled at me and said "I REBUKE YOU"
He brought me bullshit flowers and a bullshit apology. Even shrek did more than that for Fiona. And he's an ogre. Does this not say anything about him?
I'm not throwing down for dinner because I plan to have so much tequila I puke it up anyways. How much is a cab home?
The guys in the quick check just recognized me as the girl who bought rolling papers and whipped cream. This is the walk of shame on crack.
AND WHAT FELONIES DID I MISS OUT ON WHILE SLUMBERING!?
And we had three hours of crazy sex then his roommate ate pizza off me while I was sleeping.
I have the rest of my life to settle down this is totally time for friends and pizza
Going on a first date tonight...pros: my boobs look amazing. Cons: my abortion isn't until next week.
Spent 38 bucks on dollar wells last night. I'm pretty sure my liver is staging a mutiny right now.
Randomize
