I know its small, but please -- stop calling it my "weenis".
all ten of us were sitting in his room with the lights off and staring at his colorful moving screensaver for two hours. That high.
Girl in my class with fire painted on her face. I. need. that. weed.
Preparing for thanksgiving at home now by chugging bourbon. Less than a month to train!
The woman at the bus stop told me i smell delicious and asked if i wear cotton then proceeded to tell me about her shellfish allergy
I just opened my filing cabinet at work for the first time in months. It looks just like my pantry: nothing but peanut butter and whiskey.
Am I allowed to compare getting cum'd on the face to a warm summer rain?
He spent like 5 minutes figuring out how best to position me so I would still be able to watch the game. Maybe there is a benefit to dating a guy who cares about me but doesn't care about my team.
Pretty sure this is the part where you go buy a ring.
I'm 2 beers deep on an empty stomach, and I just wanna say, I pride myself on my use of commas
I felt like the hulk waking up from a black out except with munchies
She's trying to change her flight... IM BEING COCKBLOCKED BY DELTA CUSTOMER SERVICE
It's a long story, but I accidentally peed on my dog. I'll tell you about it tomorrow, and we shall never tell my wife.
I tried to text you about going to the Lion's Den but sent it to my boss. She was down for it. Please advise.
I don't care that he's really strong. I need him to make me cum not fix my back problems
I woke up to him watching me sleep and after I told him it was over he asked if we were still on for Vegas next weekend
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