just woke up and my boobs have "fun police" written on them
Just saw truck nuts on a handicap conversion van
girl! he was asleep with his back to me.he farted and i actually felt the wind blow across my leg.nice
You litterally reached into some girls shirt, pulled out her tit and yelled whats up with this guy.
if you don't go out with us, what are you gonna do? you're gonna go home and watch biodome and masturbate to texts from your east coast boyfriend and see the facebook pictures from the party when you wake up.
Pretty sure encouraging you to sleep with 2 different girls while keeping you in the good graces of both has lost me the ability to call myself a woman. But that's just the kind of friend I am; dedicated.
i did nothiing wrong other than not tell that kid his whole back was covered in puke
Please warn me if you ever end up in porn, cause I don't want to stumble across that on accident, okay?
Literally just inhaled three cinnamon rolls. Sara is staring. It was inhuman
True friendship: When you can hold your best friend's hair and still eat your Stromboli at the same time.
Ps I took your recycling out, the 9 champagne bottles, vodka bottle, and tequila bottle is how I knew it was yours
I'm reading the Hobbit in my blanket fort alone with a bottle of wine... all I need is dungeons and dragons to complete this superfecta of awesome
When the nurses wouldn't let him smoke in the hospital he decided to just roll around on the floor.
He's a freak. Not like "freak in the bed" freak but like "eats glue in the weekends" freak.
From now on I'd like to be known as Rampage.
Randomize
