I'm being pulled over???
For what!?!?!
??? I'm in a cab!!!!!
i thought i was pinching her nipple. It was her mole
I was just making a list of the girls i have slept with and i can't remember your sisters name
just once i'd like the "right thing" and the "topless thing" to be the SAME THING
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
He was singing "i gotta feeling" under his breath as i was pulling my top off.
This beer is not sobering me up at all
I'll have to explain it to you tonight when i call drunk. It will sound better
Sorry the STD update turned into an attempt at a bootycall, but at least we both know we're clean now
Dude next time u fuck on our counters will u please let me know BEFORE I make lunch.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Weirdly I'm doing ok, but I've tested positive for chlamydia, I wanted to let you know
Slowly realizing that my only incentive to bathe is shower beer
I love THIS fish, the rest of the ocean can go fuck itself. I am ahab and he is my whale
I'm taking a leave of absence and sending myself to fat camp. I'll let you know when I'm out.
hurry there's a jack Daniels slip n slide and clothes are coming off faster than I can even comprehend oh thank god for autocorrect
my penis made a compromise with my morals
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