we're taking a shot everytime we receive a "Happy Thanksgiving!!!!!" mass text. up to 7 since 10am. God help us.
It was so delicious I was introducing it to people. Guy from my psych class was like "This is my girlfriend, Erica," and I was like, "This is my milkshake, Oreo."
Once again there IS no outside bathroom. Never has been, that is the balcony
she hid the dish soap because she was afraid someone would confuse it with the margaritas and drink it instead. her reasoning was "theyre both soo pink...i cant tell them apart"
I was pretending that it wasn't happening. Until we had to roll down the windows as she was vomiting apologies into a Target bag.
There's never a time that i stay at this apartment that when i wake up in the morning and sit outside to smoke a cigarette that i don't feel ashamed of myself.
Okay good. I don't want another mom thinking I got their daughter pregnant.
I mean nobody wants to admit they ate 9 cans of ravioli but i did and i am not ashamed of myself
This is my transition from small talk texts to booty call texts. Coming over?
Quite the smooth talker. There in 5.
I don't think she can come out, she went too hard in the Intro to Theater Drinking Game at 2:30
HEY. That drawer full of booze in my dorm room also has aspirin and Tums in it. So don't tell me I don't care about health.
Hi you snuggled with me in my bed in a maid outfit
You’re like one of those doomsday preppers, but for your vagina
Howd last night go?
well he stumbled in my parents door drunk and then asked my mom if she was my grandma. Id say as far as first impressions go, he failed miserably
and by running errands I mean eating an entire bag of milanos by myself in the Walmart parking lot
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