I have seen more male genitalia at this party tonight than I ever want to see again in my entire life.
Woke up un the hot tuv. Climbed out fo the hot tub and fell asleeo. Woke ip again in the hot tub.
pretty sure I offered to blow her dad. she's not speaking to me & he won't stop winking at me.
he sent me a pic of his dick and balls out with sunglasses over them like a face. i was at dinner.
do you still have it? i kinda want to see.
I started having a bad trip because I closed my eyes and got lost in a forest of patterns and I knew my mom would be upset.
sometimes, you gotta take him by the hands like tails took sonic, and fly him into the bedroom.
Was the picture of her twerking on a fake plant sufficient?
Life lesson: if a hot naked girl tells you to spit on something, you spit on it. No questions.
We used to bone, but now she's my life coach.
Trying to figure out why my back is hurting. And then I remember I got fucked up against a tree last night
He's ruined me. Do you know how frustrating it is to know I'll never find another guy as tall and handsome and rich with as big of lips & booty, and cock as him who also rims and takes me on tropical vacations and buys me all the cocaine.
Ugh I don't want to adult today. I need like a dozen more coffees. Or cookies. They're interchangeable.
My favorite bra is missing and I smell like beer and bad decisions. This is definitely a sign that hoe mode is activated.
He stopped me mid-blow job to say that his new year's resolution was to stop hooking up. MID FUCKING BLOW JOB.
That bitch claimed that you said it was ok if she drank your vodka. Obviously she has never met you
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