like if someone fucked a dictionary but instead of having a penis, it was just one of those leap frog educational toys
I hope to god you are high
It's cold our but I feel like a very blazed penguin
i just discovered a movie that charlize theron is a sex addict. i think my prayers have been answered
After we hooked up, he left the room and no one has seen him since last night. That kid redefined hit it and quit it.
U owe me five dollars for that paper towel you bet i wouldnt eat last night
... They left for 10 minutes and came back with a lobster he's in the toilet downstairs
the wall and i were having dominance issues.
I NEED ANOTHER LEVEL OF CAPS TO EXPRESS TO YOU THE MAGNITUDE OF MY FADDEDNESS
Nothing like playing hide and seek with a state patrol officer early in the morning to get your heart rate up.
Whatcha doing tonight? Reply TURNUP if you are drinking, or STOP to cancel messages
My FitBit tracked the calories I burned during sex. Hello 2015!
In going to go underground and live with the mole people for a while.
Thx for last night. I've never had so much fun while being told my life decisions are questionable at best.
I will consider today a failure if my nipple isn't bitten at least 😂
Oh is THAT how we're gonna play mini golf
i have officially smoked myself stupid. went to wally world to buy soap and toothpaste but got 4 potpies and 2 dessert pies instead. fail.
Randomize
