he was so hot that i framed the used condom. it's not trash, it's art.
Then we managed to set a grill and all 24lbs of meat on it on fire. I didn't help because I was filled with alcohol and extra flammable.
I don't want end up bound and gagged in the back of a van headed for rehab. Bound and gagged OK. Just not the rehab part.
They wear helmets and mouth pieces when they drink...u down?
I wore water proof eyeliner just incase the first picture of me of 2012 is a mugshot
we probably should not get naked in my neighbor's garage again. just sayin
So me and him are making out, and the other two are on the couch behind us. he randomly stops kissing me and goes "oh god I think she just took off her shirt" I look behind me and I see her tits flapping up and down. This man has amazing senses..
2 six inch heels, 3 big sangrias, no broken legs
I went shopping for a dress that was baptism and bar appropriate.
I shaved an Xmas tree into my junk.... I placed your present underneath.
I can't adult today.
Take a nap and try again
I have to buy a couch. There's nothing more adult than buying a couch on a Tuesday.
Your life is quite full of dick lately.
It really is!
Currently eating a pop tart in my underwear waiting for the washer. Not one of my prouder moments.
Just saw 4 of my students at Denny's at 4am on a Tuesday. We all pretended not to see each other, as we are all clearly tipsy and/or stoned. Class is in less than 4 hours. Either i'm getting too old for this shit or they're starting on the road to crazy-town much earlier these days.
I think I'm more excited for Santa to come now that I made a drinking game out of it
Randomize
