saw "Pah-jure" lube. Thought of you. Wearing the same clothes to work tomorrow.
I stayed in, ate a pint of Hagen daas and watched a movie about aids. Soooooooo single.
i love that we sang a whole new world together while you carried me through campus
Fucked her within an inch of her life. Seriously. Don't choke bitches when they ask. Was way too drunk to be pulling that shit.
So I've been to the library twice so far. Both times were for the atm, and once I was stoned. Junior year is going great.
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Did I hear correctly when it sounded like he said "just don't let me throw up into your vaj?"
Is waterboarding an exceptable way of getting sober?
I woke up in your car in the McDonalds parking lot. What the hell happened to 'no man left behind'?
She was standing in the road flagging traffic in a tshirt and boxers. I didn't stop.
All she wanted was a cigarette
Who knew that one of those cheesy light up equalizer shirts would be the light that all those drunk college girls gathered like moths around?
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It was like the perfect storm of bad decisions.
I'm a gay man planning my brothers bachelor party, and he choose someone else to be his best man. I hope they like appltinis and gay clubs. Bastard.
Just saw a guy I fucked in a clown suit in the bar. It's not Halloween. I have got to start making better life decisions.
How many band members does it take to become The Band Slut? I think I might be dangerously close
I'm far too poor to be letting my hookups wear my shirts home. I'm down to about a total of 8 shirts and have no intention of buying more
I mean, she's batshit insane and once choked a guy with one hand but she's still MILF material in my book.
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