the next pure michigan commercial i see, i am going to pee in a fucking lake
I hope im prettier
yea, just so you know this whole self-loathing thing is getting pretty fucking annoying
all you kept yelling was "i'm bored and i'm sober"
I love seeing you outside of a bar. It's like seeing a dog walk on its hind legs
I just saw a commercial for God of War and heard the nickname he gave my vagina.
We need to figure out what we are doing for halloween asap. I'm not going out like a punk ass bitch burger king again this year.
If we laid all the dicks that's have been inside of us end to end it would be as tall as 4 story building. 40 feet of dicks.
No man we're leaving now. The party will probably be busted soon. O and a bitch started throwing knives around the place, like real actual knives.
Some old bald man is a 100,000 dollar Audi sports car just revved his engine at me and held out his phone at me trying to get my number. I hate the valley.
You sent me a picture of curly fries with no explanation attached. This is the first time you've texted me in 2 months.
I stopped hooking up with him and ran to the bathroom to throw up. He saw me throwing up and it made him throw up
How many fucks given?
0.12846
Please don't explain what tea bagging is to my mother.
All I'm saying is there better be a bow on your dick for my birthday
I know right, I would blow him just for the satisfaction he would taste like vodka
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