Who haven't you slept with?
No one comes to mind.
I just set a weed brownie on fire in the microwave.
Successful day.
yeah he didnt know till after their one year. You have no idea how bad i wanna say "dude i sucked on those boobs before you"
So she is eating her margarita with tortilla chips....like using her chip as a spoon
I legitimately sent him a storybook of naked pictures.
Desperately trying not to throw up over the side of the ferry back to CT. Can't be the first one of the season.
Just bought a breathalyzer and Sharpies, guess who thought of a new drinking game
He told me the escort brought him pizza. Can something be sad and awesome at the same time ?
True life. I have to get a nose job due to a deviated septum from blowing coke. Thank you college.
Parents said they were cutting off my AmEx card. So I immediately went up to the liquor store and purchased $550 of booze before it was canceled. I'm expecting your arrival in 30 minutes.
they told me if I wanted to live here I had to get an ass tattoo and then they all mooned me simultaneously. ass tattoos as far as the eye could see.
He was kissing me at red light while his penis was in an aluminum beer bottle peeing..
You have better ratings than Crest. Only 4/5 dentists recommend it. You have 8/9 recommendation for your blowjob skills.
Happy "I'm glad our dad made us sisters and then summarily downgraded himself to sperm donor" day.
You sealing the pinky promise with a shot was much better than just kissing it
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