But I don't consider them one night stands. They're auditions.
thank god dogs can't talk. they see way to much.
you kept running around the room with a flask shouting "so much room for activities!" then someone tripped you and you passed out
And to think..we used to do everything sober...
dunno man, last I saw him he bet me he could eat more ranch the me, then ran off
Not going outside. I may melt into a puddle of wine
Whoever put the picture of my dad in the condom box is an asshole
I imagine I kinda look like a banana with one boob out.
As if finding out the man you just had sex with is married isn't bad enough, it gets so much more awkward when his wife comes in to comfort you...
First table when you walk in. Can't miss us. I'm wearing a feather boa and a green hat
You had me at first table
Hahahahaha. That's what your stoned ass gets for eating half a bag of processed cheese at 2am.
WOKE UP NEXT TO A PLATE OF MEATBALLS HAPPY MONDAY
It's cool bro. The video I have of you drunk trying to fix it with the sonic screwdriver was worth it.
The most awkward thing in the morning is seeing your teacher's dick right before you go to his class.
I would totally suck a dick for some poutine right now
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