hey its robert, we just made out in the backyeard. i'm inside now and you should come to the bathroom and meet me.
i'm saving my butt for my wedding night
Btw, I'm really high so I apologize if anything I say gets translated into arabic.
insurance, jail, and birth control were made for people like us.
i think the whole apartment complex could hear you beating off last night
when we asked you if you had had anything to drink tonight you looked up from the toilet while cupping the water into your hands and said "this.. just this"
She told me I had to leave by four. We fucked until six thirty and we are the champions played on the way home. Yeah god knew
im just sayin im driving an hr to pick her up, just cause shes your gf doesnt mean i shouldnt be entitled to a bj
We bought home drug tests to see which of us could make it look more like a kaleidoscope. What happened to the days of innocent fun trying to best everyone with a breathalyzer?
Tell your friends I said hi and that if they touch your penis I'll cut off their hands.
true friends will drive 3 hours to come smoke a couple blunts with you on the bridge where your car broke down
So for future reference.... it's a little unnerving when I can't get hold of you, and the last communication we had was, "Oh fuck... It's tequila"
When he sent me a picture, I swear my vag frowned. That tiny.
There comes a point, as I lay on the floor of the work disabled toilets contemplating catching 10 minutes sleep between chunders, that I wonder if its really worth it
I was giving you head in the kitchen, and when I looked up you were eating a quesadilla.
Randomize
