Did you wake up with "jello shots" stamped on your hand too?
I honestly get shocked all over again every time I pull his pants down. It's one of those feelings you never get tired of.
found out the liquor store price matches. thus begins senior year of college
ugh he was not leaving in the morning so i tried to scare him by crying and saying i wasnt ready to lose my virginity.
i think maybe i'll just not watch it. i'd rather not think of you as a magical transforming set of dick holes.
I knew it was on when he was dancing on stage and I gave him a dollar so in return he ripped my tit out of my shirt and started sucking on it IN THE MIDDLE OF THE BAR.
don't get you morals all over my torrid fantasties
I think I left my chapstick at your house when I tried using your penis as a catapult and flung it on the floor. Be a dear, and try to see if you can find it.
One guy got his nose broke and was playing with it. Then another guy was playing beer pong off his horse.
It wasn't even dirty talking, it was more like the soothing gentle nonsense noises you make when you've spooked a horse.
His sister gave me the "if you hurt him I will break your neck" talk. I didn't know how to tell her we're not a couple.
Her vag MUST be made out of starbursts or something equally as delicious.
Why do we always have to be the people who get blamed for animal intoxication incidents?
He's eating me out right now. That's how bad he is.
He fucked me so hard my contacts fell out! Didnt know that was possible.
Randomize
