I don't understand why some guys want to have a huge conversation while standing at the urinal with cock in hand...
I think we should make Neil Patrick Harris a permanent part of our role playing.
I'm still amazed at how you managed to puke in every plant on the whole top floor at the mall without a single person noticing and without missing a step.
Dude, he sent me a pic of his dick. I thought dating a married man wouldn't remind me so much of high school. Seriously.
I dont care how high you are, meat and sprinkles dont mix dude
I've decided to turn your sobriety into a reason for me to be able to drink more.
Tell your boss that he's keeping you from eating a fuck sundae off of these 36-24-36 34 D's waiting for you at home on Valentine's Day.
That's not how these arrangements work. You don't buy each other stuff unless you break a sex toy. End of story.
I wanna throw up and cum in that order
Remember that picture you sent me of you trying to eat the flower arrangement in the bathroom at that restaurant?
Wait, whatever happened to locking our vaginas in closets?
those were not strange pants with a really large waist band...it took me 3 days to realize I was wearing someone's sweater as pants
He just used the word frick. Is that a possible red flag?
Last 4 google searches: class c felony, scary ghosts, peanut butter jelly time, Lindsey lohans vagina
The hump and dump is a beautiful thing
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