Five things that make you perfect. Go.
The skin of a dead hooker. The blood of the innocent. The soul of a kitten. The hat from cat in the hat. And sunglasses.
I can die happy now, I have been kicked out of strip clubs on six different continents
I'm cheering for the colts this year. I basically have to since my fake says i'm from indianapolis
you puked out of a dead sleep and didnt wake up
Found a dirty envelope on my seat w ur name and $122.50 written on the front. Nothing inside but what looks like dirty pine needles
Bro, she used the potato bongs to make French fries after. She's deff a keeper.
Well when you get back to your computer, there's a nice explanation of pansexuality on your Skype.
There's an old guy having a conversation with his penis in the bathroom right now.
Just puke n rally. People can't judge, it's syllabus week.
You took photos of my underwear around London the day after! THAT was too soon.
Yes. That was the exact moment of my conscience clicking into instant high alert.
His dick's name has evolved from Sebastian to Big Daddy to Barbara Streisand to Barbara Walters. I think the transformation is finally complete.
Just cropdusted a little kid that wouldn't get out of my way in Kroger. Welcome to the real world bitch.
It's barely past noon, how am I already talking about double penetration
So you realized he wasn't actually cheating on you and now you're trying to unfuck things. Or in this case unfuck Tom.
Randomize