just woke up and my boobs have "fun police" written on them
The mall is playing a fucking country mix of lady marmalade.
welcome to maine.
You just begged me to mute the porn and watch her ass bounce while listening to dubstep the whole time.
and then you started talkingabout how you wish birth control was disspensed as a candy necklace
I stopped in the middle of puking to wish you a happy birthday, so by default it means a lot.
Uh yeah. I ate a brick of cheese. Didn't even cut it. We were admiring the teeth marks I was leaving. We decided it was the negative of my mouth
I refuse to have sex with you and your eBay condoms.
I'm calling it the Friendlationship with Benefits Zone.
Well he walked in last night, yelled at me for not playing any music and started dancing.
I like how zombie Abe Lincoln and hooking up with a girl were on your same thought process.
I went up by the border of Canada. We took shrooms and went fishing...pretty sure we killed a dragon and ate it for dinner
We're super invested in me shitting to my full potential
It's a lube slip n slide down the hallway now. Details later.
Do me a favor and don't mention him I feel like Regina George and I just want to scream I made him
That's pretty intense. There aren't many people I would pick over a burrito
Randomize
