kill, fuck, marry: alice cullen, hermione granger, ginny weasley.
damn... fuck alice for sure, I feel bad but i think I have to say marry ginny... and kill hermoine! I can't believe I'm answering this right now.
everything was going good until you started showing off the pictures of poop you took with your phone
There is a banner on a house by campus that says "welcome to college dads. Thanks for dropping off your daughters!"
I took a shit in your bathtub. Nothings off limits
Lost gin update. Blackout me found and re-hid the bottle. Left a note to myself saying, "GOOD LUCK, SUCKER!"
no one is here. wer drinking in the beer garden in the dark and we stole a bucket of blue paint off the sidewalk. now her legs are blue.
I did the crab walk everywhere because I was drunk enough that it was easier than standing up.
i miss freshman lecture halls much harder to take shots in a class of 20
We decided it was acceptable to walk out of class on a quest for Doritos. That high.
I just had a great idea for an etsy shop. Sell all the shit bitches leave from one nighters
I seriously had alll four of your knuckles bruised into my arm
I woke up the whole house screaming I need my shorts they found me in the kitchen with a bag of strawberries naked
Please come over. It's a pajama and burn-2016-in-effigy party
Just beer bonged through a snorkel, add that to the list
She flirted with a pilot and a frat boy at the airport in Vegas and told our bartender his mask matched her panties so yeah I’d say she’s rebounding from the divorce
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