i went to disney world today with my friends, met snow white, then saw her later at a bar. she is naked next to me in her bed, passwed out. when you wish upon a star...
Should I text him? Life is confusing when you actually like someone instead of just wanting to blow them.
I don't believe these are real court rooms. They look absolutely nothing like law and order.
Please know that I fully expect you to help me steal a bed if I have a bad breakup.
I wasnt going to have sex with him until i ran into his gf at chipotle. It was like the gods were saying "Go ahead. Shes already had her burrito for the day"
I heard liver failure is in for 2012 anyways
I woke up to a head of lettuce on my nightstand, someones Honda abandoned in my yard, the cat partially shaved, and a empty bottle of sailor hanging by a scarf from the rafters. Oh, and 26 people apparently came though and rubbed my back in the process of the night. Happy 23rd to me!
They conduct scientific research memoirs about what sort of shit happened last night after I ate those cookies.
Serious questions. Who is that girl? Why is she wearing a tiara? And why does she keep asking about penis piercings?
There are Vine videos that have lasted longer than he did
If you walk into a place and someone says "happy birthday" while handing you a shot. You. Take. It.
What's an appropriate engagement gift for the girl that's marrying your brother's Tuesday night hookup? Cause all I can think of is vodka and Kleenex.
Uhmmmm is there really any way to tactfully ask "you into me jerking you off with my feet... or nah" cause if you find one let me know 😂
Micheal let me call him captain america while we fucked. It was awesome
No, Ethan, handcuffs and friendship bracelets are not "basically" the same thing.
Randomize
