the last time I saw her she was leaving the mens bathroom and club rush with her dress inside out. typical tease.
Earlier, I saw a homeless man that looked like Abe Lincoln, and I just saw a guy walk past wearing crocs and socks. I'm beginning to like this city less and less
i dont think there is any level of not caring that i havent covered in the last month
five shots of tequila, anal and 3 cigarettes. not my best idea on a saturday afternoon.
Sad news: I might have to institute a "once-per-day" policy on getting trashed downtown. Sorry, reputation.
do you think its obvious that we spent all afternoon playing naked body oil twister?
I'll be there in a few.
I'M COUNTING TO FEW.
I just made out with Ricky Ullman of Phil of the Future fame and I don't know what I'm doing anymore. Help.
Hooking up with him was lovely.. but waking up in his bed the next morning and finding double stuffed oreos... I mean.... I won
We're now referring to our nightly Skype time as "strokes of genius." Long distance sucks.
Apparently I drunkenly agreed to help the homeless. For once, I'm not disappointed in drunk me. Four for you, drunk self. You go, drunk self!
HOW DID I LET MYSELF GET SUCKED IN HE HAS A PENIS FOR PETE'S SAKE.
I feel fine lol. I tried climbing a tree but the branch broke and I got arrested.
He woke up from being passed out on the couch mumbled something that sounded like "Taco" then proceeded to the bathroom only to pass out again, I think we need to learn how to party like him!
Whatever you wanna call it i just wanna get railed tonight
Randomize
