I have this horrible feeling I'm going to blackout tonight & only be able to say 'wasabi bobby' over & over again.
white trash or talent: driving, 1 hand on the wheel, 1 holding a cell phone & talking & smoking without using hands..in an old beater pickup..
Both
they need to just BURY HIM!
A very small part of me wants you to appreciate me for more than just my breasts. But the rest of me is breasts.
He just walked up to be, grabbed my boob and said 'i think they have shrunk' i have no idea who he was.
hiding in a bush to avoid a seven dollar cab ride. cabby got out a flashlight and looked for us for like an hour. help.
Oh trust me, i am. It's like magic, but instead of rabbits and doves its orgasms- He just keeps pulling them out of nowhere.
Reached a new low. Drinking Wine from my thermos while on the stair master.
I'm unshowered, and since I've seen this episode of say yes to the dress, I've decided to go to the store and get a frozen pizza at 10:20 am. I'm crushing life.
Currently smoking a blunt with my one night stand's mom. I don't know how I should feel about this.
he told me i could have the honorable privilege of being the second girl to have sex with him in his new apartment, what a gentleman.
When we pulled over so you could pee, you made us stand over you and "make a roof"
I'm at a first year old's birthday party and a midget dressed as a cop just showed up. Word is we're going to toss and bowl with him. Updates to come.
Why is there never any toilet paper at his apartment? What does he wipe his ass with? WHAT DOES HE WIPE IT WITH?!?
Is kiddo a correct name to call someone who you stuck your dick in?
Randomize
