If Rob Pattinson gets another fucking MTV award, I'm going to vomit.
i was just texting to let you know that my facebook chat is working again so you can talk to me more. please talk to me more.
we went through the mcdonalds drive through and you asked for a free sample of their fries to see how you liked them.
Do they take checks?
Did you really just ask me if you could write a check for a DRUG DEAL?
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
When a man can't even pay attention to you when you're telling him about how big his penis is, there's something wrong
I feel like a Europe failure cause I'm coming home from the club at 3:30 and so many people are just arriving... Wtf? 3:30am People! Drink earlier!
It's a Tuesday.
When you were bringing him upstairs I told him to bring you on down to pound town. you're welcome.
This girl is wasted dancing to The Final Countdown. She's grinding on a guy who came to the bar in a track jacket and a wife beater
We fucked so hard and loud that the everyone at the party downstairs starting chanting his name. Oh I we broke a lamp.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I'd let you fuck my husband in the future, that's how much I love you
Mike Pence got the fuck boy eyes though
Fuck my life... Im so horny Im gonna take it out on this sandwich
I'm starting to notice a direct correlation between blackouts and broken bones...
Truth. Though I have held steadfast to the notion while the rest of you wavered. I had faith in his homosexuality.
I have cats now. Five of them.
Have you considered starting a global domination firm?
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