I got an 8 ball and a free entrance pass to the strip club, if i dont get laid tonight I never will.
as it turns out, there is no "i was in the pool" excuse for adderall-induced shrinkage.
they pretty much knew i was there to get drunk and fuck their daughter
Yes I was being legit. That's the only plant I want in my house. A growing penis.
Bank of America: Available balance is $546.25 on 03/04/2011 for account 8428. Go online for details. TextSTOPtoStop/TextHELPforHelp
i loe djcudia fjxos rue.
My roommate made me go home after I mooed at fat girls at the gas station.
I knocked myself out momentarily last night when I fell and hit my head off of my jewelry box while trying to take his pants off... while he was passed out.
I came so hard just now that I think I may have regenerated.
I was throwing up in the shower. He was throwing up on me. It was a cute couple moment for us.
I set up her keyboard so that no matter what she does, it will open up RedTube. Click and command Q all you like, its going to porn. No I play the waiting game
I'm pretty sure I made out with a guy in a man thong.
The problem with having a roommate is that you are forced to answer the age old question "Are you okay?"
I didn't even know this guy existed until he'd had his hands down my pants, so I just went with it.
Last night I was introduced as the Picasso of getting fucked up so I obviously had to live up to it by chugging long islands
chasing tequila with frosting. best baby shower ever.
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