"You squeeze, we tiip biiiiiig" JB
You're my little dorito
My friends, they love my intelligence
At any point in time, have you stopped and thought "I wonder how high Willie Nelson is right now?
Hemmingway ran to paris to avoid going to the university of illinois and becoming a doctor. It was there he developed a drinking problem. I need a plane ticket.
At least he's not married... I hate Halloween hookups
Please check on her. She announced that Thursday she'd open herself to any veteran so as to thank them for their service. "my services for your service" and left the bar with three numbers.
Well I disagree, 3 different men in my bed over my birthday was the perfect way to say goodbye to my childhood innocence
At first i thought she was a sexily dressed toddler. but not in a pedophile way, in a really on drugs way
I threw up in a Buffalo Wild Wings and then got a high-five. I really don't understand America
Thank you for caring about my cervix.
Just bought weed from the ice cream man. The kid in front of me got a tootie fruitie.
They're fucking on the bed next to me. I took adderall and smoked so there's no fucking help for me.
A guy was over-the-skirt fingering me on the dance floor and I stopped him to sensually rap in his ear. So that was my Halloweekend
I guess I'm famous. Hot lesbian was WARNED about me. Still hooked up with her.
I'll pay you to teach me.
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