He looks like Spencer from the game Dreamphone
I would have been "that girl" at the party last night if it wasn't for that girl who puked in the potted plant...
Just hungoverly hit my funny bone with a hot straightener. Triple threat.
I think i can make this amish girl legitimately hot.
Well after last night it's official...I cannot die...it time to use this power for good instead of handle contests
Day drunk and a can of soup and wine straight from the bottle and alone and on my kitchen floor.
I have green food coloring in my hair and just got a text from "Guy in the Yard"...so this morning is going just as you might imagine.
I just threw up every bad decision and it hurts
I'm on this new diet called "I have 10$ till next Friday, I have rice
Doing a circuit workout and using a power hour playlist for my 1 minute timers. I am getting old. creative, but old.
We got buck wild in our animal onesies last night. You kept ripping off your tail in angry rages.
Did I send you a drunk selfie with a pine tree last night?
Ya it was crazy the power went just as she was about orgasm and the vibrator got fried with the power surge
I rocked his world in the back of my car in an overly-lit, heavily trafficked parking lot. Middle age is amazing!
I asked him if we were exclusive and he followed up with, "If a tree falls in the woods and no ones around, does it still make a sound?" Wtf am I supposed to do with that?!
Randomize
