If facebook stalking was a job I would totally pown it
I think a homeless person took a bath in my mouth while I was sleeping :(
just saw a girl throwing up in a taco bell nacho cantainor going 60 down the highway
On my arm I have 12 dashes, and below is written "plus 2 pretty stout whiskey drinks, so, you be the judge"
we just drove by a car that was painted for a grad, it said "you done it!" with a confederate flag bumper sticker next to it. i love kentucky
She looked at my facebook and decided to bump the security deposit up an extra 250...now we have to destroy the house, its expected and I wouldn't want to disappoint
I wish I had a "puke in your car" emoticon
Guess who won a bet and gets to name it Optimus prime if it's a boy
Nevermind. Totally worth it.
Here is a brilliant idea passed on from men who have that same regret. WEAR A FUCKING CONDOM ALWAYS.
No, the moral of my Oxford interview was "Never snort caffeine pills".
Ran out of plates, so I'm using my sociology notes. Looks like they will finally have a practical use.
Oh my god he's laying on a longboard singing the song from cool runnings.
I tried to take a cute nude but sneezed halfway through. I sent it anyway
I associate the Game of Thrones theme song with his dick now.
For someone who's supposed to be gay Greg is really good at seducing me into things I don't wanna do
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