sometimes I think that if I just met him. he would have a crazy realization and fall madly in love with me. what do you say? I'm not just another fan.
you ever get that eerie feeling when you walk in a room, when you know youve barfed here before.
No He hasn't done that since the time he came in his own eye
Im pretty sure at one point a very high you yelled, with actual tears in your eyes, "im not wrestling with you anymore, you dont respect my safe word!!"
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I've been told that their best stripper is on maternity leave. NEVER AGAIN.
All I remember is passing out with an umbrella over my head and waking up screaming bad luck for seven years
Well my ankle is fucked up, everytime it pops I have a reminder of $200. Jager bomb night and the day we began to rebuild our friendship.
She thinks Jesus was an astronaut.
I feel like I'm going to get the reputation of being the girl who brings her dog with her to all her random hookups.
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Day drinking! Today! (tomorrow too!) Our place! Whenever you get off work! Ready go!
Stealing, and booze. If only you added meaningless sex with random people you would have wrapped all your life passions together
..needless to say, i got fired. But I'm in the parking lot tanning on top of your car... so its not all bad.
I just got to my parents hungover as hell. My dad could tell and said "theres only one cure for a hangover" and handed me a beer. This morning went from a 0 to 10 in an instant.
welp,tonight ive reached new levels. by new levels I mean,i showed some guys my boobs for water. on your tab.. the most pointless thing ive ever done. either we should hang out way more,or never again.
Well you’re enrolled in an Ivy League grad school and I’m currently at a 2 star holiday inn in rural PA so who is really thriving here
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