tweet Hawks Win!! tweet
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his facial hair looked like he just ate out someone's ass
No I am not eating basil off your cock
There is a guy, stoned out of his mind, only wearing slippers and a bathrobe in the library.
in fingerprint form on my ass. Seriously not cool. \ni bruiiiseeee like a delicate fruiiiitttt. Heeeaaarrr the rythymmm
I broke stuart's oven and showed up to the party with a squirrel.
So burnt out. Like weed hangover. And someone just fell through the ceiling outside of my class. How's your morning going?
I resisted the temptation to hold the cake in one hand to alternate bites with the ruffles I was eating. I decided that might make me look dysfunctional.
Would it be sharing too much to tell you that my nipples hurt so much that I couldn't comfortably go down the stairs?
I asked her why she named her vibrator Lorenzo and said it was the name she started screaming her first time.
Just pee around me
Trying to ignore the fact that a kid I hooked up with twice just gave me spare keys to his house ... and car.
She was about to leave with you until you started singing "You Hoes Ain't Loyal" in her face
I told myself I'd stop after three shots of fireball. Haha HA hA.
Ive realized that in order for me to understand math, my professor has to be hot.
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