I just farted in the dogs face to show him who's boss
nothing cures the holiday blues like an open bar
So Delta doesn't take cash. I used my card to buy a drink and asked the attendant if she could leave it open.
Don't you ever say "drinking at 2" as if it's a bad thing again. I'm asking you as a friend here.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Also, last night I had a dream that I was in a victoria's secret fashion show and they made me wear a t-shirt over my lingerie. Spring dieting begins now.
Turned out the thing on the lampshade was a bloodstain, not a bedbug. We feel much safer now.
im sure shes a lovely person but i cant be friends with someone that doesnt drink. its just not right.
Oh my god. I just realized something amazing. If I get pregnant with a boy, that technically means I have a penis right??????
Druken naked yoga : jus another ploy to keep your husbands eye in check
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Random question, but did I leave a spoon on your dresser last night?
Is it bad that i wanna bang this girl ONLY because she looks like my cousin?
I just soaked a sugar cookie in nail polish remover to clean off my nails because I was too lazy to walk to the bathroom to get a cotton ball. Is this what rock bottom feels like?
Dealing with people is so much easier after you've had an orgasm or 4.
You like pics of my balls that much?
I am at the store looking at frames as we text...
Currently standing at the bus stop in just a pillowcase and its fucking snowing
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