Intervention is following me on twitter.
wow.
its family weekend so i'm givin my little bro a tour of everywhere ive thrown up on campus
He honestly told me my belt was "supercute" when we started hooking up. I would be the girl to find the only straight man in the world that uses the word "supercute".
Yes. Yes. Double yes. I'll bring the tits. You bring the frosting.
If the boyfriend of the drunk girl you just met asks her if she made a "special friend" you're going to have a threesome. For future reference.
You were sitting on the filthy kitchen floor eating a packet of grated cheese, and you were crying because you couldn't find any cheese.. I'd say our party was a success.
I'm ready to take a few years of my life this weekend
Are you awake? Because I would like to know whether or not I should refrain from giving my evil laugh when I enter the apartment...
Do not tell me that that is not the face of a man who has sex with goats.
She deserves a chance to suck my penis. This is America. Its her God given right.
Is it OK to disqualify a potential therapist if she lists 50 Shades of Gray as her favorite book? Or is that a good thing?
She gave me a collar. When I asked what this was for she replied "I'm taming your dick"
I just put a pill up my vagina. It was little like a quail egg. There is so much happening up there right now.
Was just at a stoplight and some kid was smoking a blunt and we smiled at him and he offered to pass it between cars... Only in Rockford
Can’t. Tonight’s a netflix and dick night
Randomize
