the lady in the checkout infront of me had a case of beer, two 40 oz, and activia...really??i dont' think irregularity is her problem
a girl is trying to cook hot pockets in a saute pan on the stove.
Still bad at ganbling. Still good at dringing.
I put labels all over the house on things I think are mine. A cactus, the dog, and a bottle of wine.
he asked if i wanted their team name to be " Amandas angels" or " Fuk budies" either way an intermural softball team of all my hook ups from spring semester is just depressing. convenient but depressing
Exact words that were just spoken as she was on her 6th, yes 6th piece of bread: "I'm only eating the soft and chewy inside of the bread-I am taking the crust home to feed my turtles"
All of her cloths were on our coffee table this morning. The only things she left with last night were her shoes and Scott
Yeah even if I got stabbed it would be worth it
There is not enough whiskey in the world to get me through what happened on Pretty Little Liars tonight.
First world problems.
yeah she's crazy. she fought a possum in my alley because it was "being a cagey little cunt"
How do I tell my hairdresser I want a hair style I saw in a porn video?
I'd like to preapologize if you or your mom see me naked at some point this weekend.
Had phone sex with my boss who I still haven’t seen in person. How’s your Monday ?
My fuck it list is complete! I finally got a firefighter!
Complete and utter failure. 100% unsalvageable. I have not failed so hard at a culinary endeavor in YEARS. MY HONOR IS IMPUGNED I HAVE SHAMED MY HOUSE
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