I bet farrah fawcett is having words with michael jackson in heaven for stealing her thunder
I don't really know I'm just giving her a key to get back in and the "don't get pregnant speech" and leaving it at that.
Is it possible to get a DUI in a wheelchair that's not yours?
He wears a hat. All the time. Even during sex. And I'm okay with that.
I forgot my id and a man called soup is buying me vodka.
Too bad you can't keep me under your desk. You'd love that wouldn't you? Massages, blowjobs, and I'd be forced to be quiet all day.
He used the expression "my couch is your couch" as a come on line.
When you turn your data bak on you're gonna get a pic of a nipple but it's not mine
She was wearing some slutty variation of a toga and giving the entire bus a pep talk on why we should black out tonight...I'M IN LOVE AND I DON'T CARE WHO KNOWS IT!
He's slurring his text. I didn't think that was possible.
i need some fresh meat. meat that has a license and a job and isn’t a FULL-blown alcoholic. partial i could tolerate, bc, haha, let’s be honest, me likey my drinkies.
The clothing optional portion of the night began around midnight. Then we did disgusting things to each other. It was beautiful.
HE WAS CUMMING IN THAT DICK PIC
We already gave up cheese, how are we supposed to give up coke?
She has my name on her bucket list. I’m either getting laid or killed
Randomize
