Riddle me this. What had unbelievable sex, and finally understands the meaning that things come better in pairs?
I hate you
I'm pretty sure a girl doesn't give it up with a reverse cow girl...
I'm at the psychiatrist, and this lady is crazy.. she keeps yelling about how her HMO insurance gave her breast cancer? Adderall isn't worth this.
he took his pants off right in front of me then just stood there so i went for his boxers and he said he was waiting till marriage
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sorry for covering your dog in whipped cream. his bark made it sound like he wanted it.
I'm pregaming before our pregaming dinner...with peanut butter and beer. I think I need to re-evaluate my budget...
Just the budget?
when i got home i made myself toast with butter & put pasta on it. I know this cause it's all over my bed.
I bought us both waterproof cases so we can sext through FaceTime in the shower.
Next. Level. Shit.
I just want to be like i dont know you but ive seen your penis & i like it
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
She asked if she should pack the condoms, I told her I plan on drinking so much that it won't be possible.
literally took my pants off in the middle of bourbon last night without taking off my heels im a super human i guess
I need to hire someone full-time to slap food and dick away from me.
She came into the salon and said, "Don't judge me. Yes that's cum in my hair and I want a shampoo, cut and style."
His penis is the only thing worth pursuing but all the baggage attached isn't.
He bought me a bottle of Malibu. I think I could love this guy.
I've loved people for a lot less.
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