I just wish we had the ability to download food from our TVs.
I feel like Captain Blackout doesn't do her justice. Brigadier General Blackout is much better.
I sat on his lap and we shared a beer. I feel like that's an invitation to his dick.
He caught a squirrel with his bare hands twice. Where do you find these people?
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I never want to hear the words 'my therapist says . . . ' while naked again.
They poured beer (3 cans) down the toilet so bubbles can be drunk in fishy heaven
I cannot believe this. A potential 2016 Olympiad wants my vag. To which I respond "GO FOR THE GOLD"
you have to be that girl in the audience holding up the sign that says i fucked the shit out of you
Anywho, an ostrich attacked me today. Fucking useless pieces of shit birds.
Hook ups at LEGOLAND don't count right?
Are we playing inappropriate sexual encounters bingo?
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
And he's a cuddle champ. I know because I slept over because I don't know what boundaries are.
Concept: I never actually flirt with anyone, I'm just a bitch and some people find it endearing
I just spontaneously learned how to embroider at three in the morning.
I also almost burned the house down in the process. Don't ask me how. It's a long story.
I think i got my first booty call. it was like she came to my house. sex. leave.
Congratulations. Welcome to the wonderful world of quick dirty secret sexy time.
thanks... i think. haha
Awake! can you bring me my pants...im under the couch
Literally.... Guy kissing himself in mirror in this hotel elevator
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