Dood you jacked it to warcraft. you can't come back from something like that
After the sixth shot I started to slur my pauses.
i feel like my eyelids need a kick stand.
Can I get a DUI with a shopping cart? I've nearly hit 2 displays and little girl...
Yea.. I remember nothing. Except that the taxi driver was 56 years old and apparently never cheated on his wife.
There was just way too much discussion about my penis at that party
Are you sighing at your phone and judging me right now?
Is this girl REALLY making a smoothie in the bathroom right now?
I puked in a solo cup and then offered it to him. So yeah, it was a rough night.
I can never go back to Jacksonville. We think I may have punched a child in the face while on acid...
We are so drunk half our team had to bowl with a chaperone. We won every game. We drink
What's goes good with Everclear?
Pepto-Bismol and a sandwich.
The fact that u had sex with a Disney prince blows my mind, you're my hero.
Sitting on my couch watching TV in my underwear drinking a bottle of wine.... and you want to interrupt me to come pick you up. No I will not do it.
I'm at the drive thru window, five minutes out. If the bathtub is empty or you're dressed when I arrive I'm not sharing.
Randomize
