i wish i could google "things to eat in my fridge" so i wouldnt have to go downstairs and be disappointed
i guess its officially winter break. i woke up alone and fully clothed this morning.
i'm starting to get really nervous about the relationship i have with my cat
I'm gonna play a drinking game called "Sarah takes the train"
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
it was like that last scene in "It's A Wonderful Life" but with alcohol
View of Vancouver Bay is obscured though the greasy hand prints from fucking against the window. Tip maid well.
To confirm, you are a grown ass man and you just asked me what her vag looked like.
Also bring a pizza or no entry to my vagina OR the fort.
Cheese only
Let's be honest dude, you almost cried when I gave you a handy, you are not ready for a relationship, I knew this.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Seriously considering modifying my computer case so it can dispense wine. I need to make a bunch of changes and reorganize it's guts anyway....
My disapointment is making my balls hurt :(
Shut up. The only friend I need in life is Jim Beam because life is meaningless.
for future reference, singing eye of the tiger outside my door while i am having sex makes me incredibly uncomfortable
apparently not uncomfortable enough for you to stop
This is getting exciting. I almost wanna turn off all the lights, get some popcorn, and stare at my phone screen to see if she's going to say yes or not
And on a much sadder note, I'm way to drunk for this right now
Just got my second shot
Baller. We’re going to be knee deep in strippers and coke in 10 days
Randomize