Well I left you a voicemail but you probably won't be able to hear it because my mic is fucked up. I think you need to come down here and take it in for me.
I hate this phone so bad I'm going to lose all of my friends because of it
Yeah...you probably will...
well, you're marked off my christmas card list for next year.
Hilbilly word of the day is cedar, example....I knowed she ain\'t got no panties on cuz I cedar cooter.
if i get an abortion, then will you go out with me?
dude she licked ball and has every Are you afraid of the dark episode on dvd
lock that shit down
what if cement was really a rainbow color they just secretly paint it grey so as not to distract drivers
are you high?
The hot Japanese girl in my class just said her "favorite sexy American actor is Nick Cage." That, I can work with.
Im drunk and they're making me play quiet game. Im scared. Baptists are here
I really shouldn't have to apologize. It was your own damn fault for opening a tab at the bar and telling me about it.
Girl on the bus just slammed her book shut, turned to me and said "I'm way to fucking high to be studying"
My brother is wearing glitter eyeshadow and split leg skinny jeans
You've been usurped as King of the Gays
the most romantic thing he could do for me right now would be to throw himself into traffic
I own a halfway home for drunk girls, this is my life
This was like angel cum on the bread of life filled with the nectar of the gods
But can mardi gras accurately capture the essence of my tiny rage?
Let's just grow old together and be the crazy ladies that sit on the park bench, drinking booze from flasks and loudly talk about people who walk by.
Randomize
