what was i supposed to do!? wake up and actually ask her name??
In a bar in glasgow talking to a 12 year old about life. Welcome to Kentucky.
you looked up at me mid puke with tears in your eyes and asked to make sure no one took your turn at Wii
I remember nothing of last night, but I did manage to figure out which frats I went to by the trails of straw across campus.
I've decided to dedicate my life to finding out which flavor of Gatorade tastes best after you brush your teeth
We finally have the house to ourselves and your out playing Lance Fucking Armstrong
When he sent me a picture, I swear my vag frowned. That tiny.
I'm sorry I did drugs then got really loud and bitchy at your party and judged your choice in one night stands.
I literally farted midsex as a siren for him to get the fuck off me.. No such luck.
some how during sex we caught an ENTIRE pillow on fire. A WHOLE PILLOW.
I'm spending tomorrow doing taxes and making jello shots. Is this adulthood?
She wanted a dick pic so I sent her brett Favres dick pic then she asked why I have pictures of old men's beautiful dicks
I thought I needed to get laid. Turns out I just needed pasta.
You know that gay bartender? Not as gay as we thought.....
She's writing hockey erotica again.
Tell her to pick another team besides ours this time.
Randomize
