we're blogging at a bar
I just cut my nipple shaving
I was thinking about baking his mom "sorry you found out i was sleeping with your son" cupcakes
My TA just came over to give us drugs. Now he's drinking grey goose with my roommate and explaining his thesis to her. This is too much.
I think my sister is getting tired of me breaking into her house so I can sleep with random girls when shes not there
If you were a good friend you would take the nipple tassels off me before the ambulance comes.
I gave you a piece of bread to sober you up. You wiped your face off with it and then gave it back to me.
I'm just going to lay in a blanket cocoon of self pity for the next few months.
And then after we fucked he wouldn't stop calling me "champ". It was like I had sex with an extremely attractive soccer coach
like stop just cause your whole life has been one enormous reject pile does not mean that i have to suffer too
this whole "benign brain tumor" is truly a blessing in disguise. I almost want to start bringing MRIs to the bar because sympathy pussy is flowing like the nile
I thought I came here to hook up, not for a Study Abroad 101 session
I passed out in your bed last night...there maybe a snickers and twix bar under your pillow
I haven't felt more like a college student than when I woke up this morning naked with my sociology textbook in front of me and my bong in my left hand.
you were making out with a girl because you told her you were part of Nsync
Randomize
