I just got a rly sharp new razor and was shaving down there...
and?
RIP clitoris
I mean, it really isn't YOUR car until you have sex in it.
I've hooked up with three guys in my accounting class. I'm beginning to think my teacher failed me so I can start getting laid again.
Just walked in on the Yellow Ranger getting porked by a guy in a UD Blue Hen costume. Will somebody PLEASE think of the children.
Needing to keep one leg on the floor during sex so you dont spin should qualify for some kind of drunk award.
Someone's having a good night if they're getting gummi bears and Astroglide.
Going through my purse trying to find money for this cab but all I keep pulling out if chicken from my burrito o ate an hour ago. Help?
well his attempt to make a white russian with instant coffee, gone off milk, and that weird probably illegal vodka we bought the other day isnt going well
she just nodded and said "yeah, I'd fuck him for a reese's peanut butter cup". it's so nice to know I'm not the biggest whore living here
You said you liked how I put the cream cheese on.
I don't want sex or anything I just really need someone to appreciate how shiny my hair is
Beer and xanax may be a bad combo, but I don't really care due to the beer and the xanax.
He can't say no, it's my spiritual goddamn quest.
gave out my moms phone number instead of mine last night... thattttttttttttttt dunk.
"Plot twist... I'm straight."
Randomize
