The tent wall coming unstaked in the wind and hitting me in the face really sobered me up
it took me 20 minutes to get her upstairs... she crawled under a car and wouldn't come out.
yeah we were the ones eating jello shots out of the back of a jeep in the bar parking lot
Why do the people I hook up with still exist after we're done?
i refuse to be around anyone not wearing a sombrero...its cinco de mayo
Cool. Some 22 year old kids gave me a ride home from the bar last night. In related news, I made out with a 22yr old last night. He was adorable
You need to get laid. You spent last night stumbling through the club pulling couples apart and telling them to leave room for Jesus.
Hooked up with a 20 year old. Only reason I did was cos I thought he was 18
I got to my internship late... with a bag of chipotle and sex hair.
We had a quickie at work in the office. He walked out before me, and I fell asleep while waiting a few minutes to walk out. Yeah. He's got that change your life dick
The one that slept in my truck and you peed in his face?
I hate him but I love him for what he does which is me
i don't want him to see me in a bathing suit.
hasn't he seen you naked?
well yeah, but it's different in a bathing suit.
My drug dealer just told me goodnight...I still don't know his name. But I guess you can say we've moved to the next step.
I'm too hungover to Google him and try to save face.
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