It was kinda weird being the boss
Did you feel like Tony Danza?
the fundamentals of my vasectemy are strong
If it has a penis then it will be stupid. Just how it works.
Try not to bring up the fact that I woke up and couldn't find my pants... He might get the wrong idea.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
...She was shooting whiskey using a turkey baster...i was horrified.
I sang Jenna happy bday in the middle of throw up hurls
I knew the night had taken a turn when we showed up and our flabongo was being chilled in the freezer.
I was barred out and drunk as fuck locked out at 3am in my Indian costume. It was literally freezing outside. I laid down on the concrete and made a bonfire with dry leaves. Then proceeded to ask.the.bonfire nicely to "please dont go out". Drunk me went strait up survival mode.
I stuck my fake eyelashes to his balls after he passed out.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Is it possible to rally from a drunken seizure?
Dude. If I met a dinosaur right now. we'd totally be on the same page. Brainwaves and shit.
The pool of urine in the trash can signifies both a regretful yet successful night.
Ya. My thumbs are those buffalo's, but my legs are spirits and my torso is that Indian guys and my head is the eagle
Please tell me I didn't try to make out with a 70 year old Romanian man last night ...
I'm so hung over that I just tried to send you a screen shot of the cracked screen on my phone.
Randomize