Well that's not true. She had two social skills. She kept them in her bra
Just ran into my ex in the WOMENS bathroom. He said I did this to him. Swore he never wore my clothes but said he liked my skirt. I need vodka.
They're sharing a mixed drink at a bar with straws...its like a disney movie with booze
Dude, the cops never think it's as funny as you do.
let's just pour the lemonade mix into the soco. cut out the middle man.
Yea, I had a chaperone thankfully. I'm in the fetal position attempting to eat captain crunch now.
Your boyfriend and I are bonding over your giant dick.
I just had to take a picture of someone whose testicles are bigger than my fists combined. Living the dream.
Yesterday you said I was the best.
No. I said you DID your best. There's a huge difference.
You FaceTimed me at three in the morning while you were peeing. Your eyes were glazed over and you showed me your bellybutton.
My new roommate is awesome. His father owns a bar and his sister has an E cup. I'm going to be with him forever
I was pretty pissed in the morning when I realized he had fucked the fake tattoo right off my chest.
The last thing I remember saying was "Tequila for all!!"
If you count the sounds from the room down the hall....that was definitely NOT the last thing that came out of your mouth.
I'll bring spiced rum
I am not drinking that devil juice
she was all excited about us being eskimo sisters and then i was just like "alyssa i've literally been inside of you" and she got even more excited
Randomize
