i'm out of smokes so i just had an after sex popsicle. this might become an addiction.
make any headway on the foot/dick situation?
i love how you can even make your typing come across bitchy
bro...we were banging on her floor and her dog walked in and started licking my balls
I just woke up and shes still asleep next to me with her vibrator inside her and on. Whats normal protocol for this situation?
Sad news: I might have to institute a "once-per-day" policy on getting trashed downtown. Sorry, reputation.
Through drunken recall, I have managed to bring back awful memories of losing my virginity. And possibly traumatized my niece trying to get her to "learn from my mistakes".
I like that we make it a requirement to howl at the moon every time we get drunk together.
I think he just tried to put your boyfriend in a trashcan....
i just found my fake in the snow. LIFE IS AWESOME
And in that, my finest lazy stoner moment, I used my cleavage to hold my bowl steady while I packed it laying down in bed.
Also you can't just sext a Michelle quote from Full House.
just creeped your profile pictures and you should feel satisfied in knowing that you had great eyebrows even before people started drawing them on
You need to stop leading guys on at bars - you're a lesbian.
And now I'm a lesbian with better self-esteem.
He showed his fake to the cop and was like "does the coloring look off to you?"
Randomize
