i may or may not be hanging out with a boxer who has a daughter tonight. and he just spelled "honestly" like "onistly". He has prob taken a few too many hits to the head but he's hot at least.
Hopefully the semester will be over before she has a breakout. Then I can just avoid the situation entirely
it was better than the time i puked and I forgot to open the lid of the toilet
i think the bruises are from the grocery store. on separate occasions. i've been spending a lot of time drunk at the market lately.
i have a vague recollection of being in the parking deck around 4 this morning, and on monday morning i was naked on the roof.
that would mean it's on tape
i woke up to the sound of my roommate climbing onto my desk mumbling that she was going to bed
FACT: the parking lot attendant was yelling "NO SEX HERE! NO SEX" at yall.
There's always the 'not have sex with the drunk girl I just met at some party' option.
That was the plan but Tequila showed up at the party too.
i just shaved my vag. i figure it gave me about ten more minutes to drink tomorrow.
A dry HJ only, please. I don't deserve the comforts of lube after my horrendous fantasy football performance
Sext me about skeletons
Idk if I should be worried or amused that my autocorrect changes the word STD to DTF.
Are you saying I'm your favorite hot mess?
I'm actually my favorite my hot mess, but you're a close second.
now acid just makes me think of crab ragoon
I also woke up in a bed soaked of pee and drunkenly lectured him on the dangers of chewing tobacco... weird night
party at the soccer house. crumbs in my sexy panties. can't. put. pieces. together.
Randomize
